John Foltz: listen
All That You Want
(John Foltz)
December 15, 2001
John Foltz
I once knew an extraordinarily codependent woman who stayed with her man beyond all boundaries when it came to the way he abused her. I don't think I ever even knew the extent of it before we fell out of touch, or since, for that matter. I wrote this to try and wrap my brain around what warped thinking would cause someone so wonderful to remain in a truly toxic situation. I don't imagine it's actually the truth, but I can see how people (namely myself, at the time) could perceive it this way.
She’s not your typical woman, that’s for certain
She wakes at sunset and then she pulls the curtains
She sits on the floor and closely watches the door
So she can greet him before his hand flies
And when she says to him, “please”
She feels a part of her inside die
He’s not your average guy, that’s for certain
He slaps her around and says women are for hurting
He always comes home after working alone
With the sun on his back all day
And when he calls her his princess
She’ll be wincing away as she says
If it’s all that you want, I want you to hurt me
Make me bleed, make me cry, make me need to feel you desert me
I don’t want to be left on my own
I can handle you breaking my bones to show that you’re there for me
He’s got his problems with anger, that’s for certain
She says, “it’s only that he’s afraid of desertion”
Although she knows better, she says someday he’ll get around
To being the man she desires
So in the meantime she’ll face his hand
Embracing him as she cries
If it’s all that you want, I want you to hurt me
Make me bleed, make me cry, make me need to feel you desert me
I don’t want to be left on my own
I can handle you breaking my bones to show that you’re there for me
She gives the best that she can, never questions his hand
For fear of knowing the answer she’ll hear
But if life’s supposed to be green
How come there ain’t no green around here?
Still she says to him
If it’s all that you want, I want you to hurt me
Make me bleed, make me cry, make me need to feel you desert me
I don’t want to be left on my own
I can handle you breaking my bones to show that you’re there for me
If only you’ll care for me someday